Value in Personality

After five hundred eighty six pages of Les Mis, the theme of a person’s worth is still a major part of the book and still makes me think more deeply about it. This time I focused on a different quote, about a different person, but that has direct connection to every other part of the book, “having the good sense, while very conscious of the royal blood in his veins, to value himself at his true worth”. This is speaking of the French king, Louis- Philippe, and how he did not find the source of his value in his ancestry. Previously I stressed the point that we must, in order to be fulfilled and fulfill others, treasure ourselves, but this is when the question arises. When comes the moment to reject some of the value placed in us, by those around us? In this quote, after going over it for some time, I found the answer.

A king is usually seen as a person that had great worth and great importance, just because he is king. The quote above on the other hand is talking about the true worth of a king. What the quote explains to us is that Louis-Philippe valued himself for who he was, not what he was. He did not root his value in his “divine right”, but rather in himself, as an individual. He saw his worth not in the title that he received because he was born into a family that was entitled to do so, but in the person became through his choices, hard work and perseverance.  

We as humans should treasure ourselves for who we are, but sometimes we decide that our value is greater than that of another person because we look better, study harder or know more. This is a big mistake and in this case we need to catch ourselves and instead follow the example of the French king. We should remember what our true worth is in, it is in Christ our Lord, in our Redeemer. We also have to be vigilant not to treat others as less deserving of love, compassion and admiration, just because of the circumstances of their birth or life.  

Accepting and Forgiving... YOURSELF

More pages, more letters and more ideas. One of the main ideas I faced this past week during the reading of Les Mis is acceptance. However, this acceptance is not talking only and mostly about being understanding and tolerant of others, but being able to accept yourself. Being able to accept who you are. This type of acceptance is even more vital in our everyday lives than the acceptance of others, because if you cannot love yourself and forgive yourself, then there is no chance that you will be able to do this for others. This is not the only reason we should accept ourselves. If you cannot accept yourself, you cannot live your life on Earth in peace and do not have a chance to find joy and completion. You also might very well, rob those around you of happiness.

The two examples that prove this statement both come from the books sophomores read this year, Things Fall Apart and Les Misérables. The first example, from the first book, is Okonkwo, a person of power and influence in one of the tribes in Nigeria. His father was poor, lazy and never repaid his debts. Okonkwo, although a grown up man, was not be able to accept his father and was not able to accept that he is father’s son. Throughout the book we see him trying to run away from his heritage and trying to escape from the man he knows himself to be. I am not going to spoil the book for you, so I will just say that Okonkwo, his family and his tribe suffer horribly, because Okonkwo cannot accept himself. On the other hand we have Jean Valjean from Les Misérables. He knows himself to be a convict and a thief. He remembers that he robbed the one man that showed him compassion and a small boy that had to earn his living. He struggles with himself and his criminal past. However, eventually, he is able to accept and forgive himself, as well as gain wisdom from the hard circumstances he goes through. Because of the forgiveness that lives in him, he goes on with life. He applies the things he learned in his hardships and through this brings prosperity to a whole region of France, as well as makes life better for all those around him. He brings salvation to those in need of material things and to those in need of a second chance.

This demonstrates how important it is to accept and forgive ourselves. Every one of us should be ready for the missteps that we will, with no doubt, make, but we also must be ready to forgive ourselves for them. No one is perfect, but our mistakes provide a step for us to rise higher, become better and wiser. If we are ready to accept ourselves for who we really are others will be too.

Worth in the Image of God

Another week of reading Les Mis has passed and as it passed it left me with more questions and more thoughts on things I did not dwell on before.  Another quote has struck me and made me think, “… he is dealing with such wary animals as a wolf or a convict”.  What causes the speaker to view this certain individual unworthy of being called a human being? When are people compared to animals and why this often can be offensive? And when we are compared to animals, why does this hurt our feelings? And since it does, what is the difference between us and animals?

Well first of all, the convict mentioned in this quote is Jean Valjean and he was imprisoned for nineteen years for stealing a loaf of bread and a couple of escape attempts. This is what he had done to lose the “privilege” of being referred to as human. But did these actions actually diminish his humanness? No. He is still a man created in the image of God. He is still, no matter what loved by God and nothing can change this. Yes, he did steal and stealing is a sin, but he is still a child of God. This is one of the reasons the Theory of Evolution is twice as bad, as it seems at first glance. The first claim evolution makes is that there is no God and that all of creation was a mere accident. But it also claims that we, humans, are accidents and have evolved from apes. A belief like this takes away from a man’s uniqueness and diminished the full meaning and worth of a man, in the image of God.

Men are usually compared to animals or called animals when displaying behavior others deem unworthy of a human or because they once behaved that way and now that cannot be forgotten. This comparison is offensive, because everyone deep down inside knows that there is something important and crucial that separates us from animals. This crucial difference is that we were created in the image of God. We are created in God’s image and we can have a relationship with our Creator. This is the reason we take offense in being compared to an animal of any kind and even those who might not believe that we were created in God’s image, feel the truth of this statement echo in all their being once they have been called a “dog” or a “donkey”.

Hey Mr.O, I've Got Something to Say and Language in which to Say it!

                                                           Best Paper                    
                                                  Serving Truth Right

Would you like to live all your life without light, surrounded only by darkness and traps that you stubble into one by one, because you cannot see the right and safe path? This is what awaits anyone who lives his life without the truth, in captivity of lies. For others this fruitless life can be pushed upon them, when those surrounding them tell them the truth, but in a deleterious way- this will drive the listeners to insanity. So the following question arises: how should we share the truth with our loved ones, in order to help them live a life full of light and love? By looking at the symbols of the two different synagogues and their lighting, in chapters 7 and 18 of The Chosen, we can answer this question, and see that the way truth is taught and the environment in which the truth is taught, greatly affect an individual, as well as his life now and in the future; this is important because the knowledge of this issue is crucial, in order for us to live a thrilling life and see our loved ones blessed with joy.

The eagerness with which one strives to know the truth and his ability to accept it, greatly depends on the way the truth is served to the individual, whether one will enjoy it or hate it. A quote from chapter can serve as a great metaphor, “the naked light bulbs seemed ugly”(280). Once you think about it deeper you realize the depth of this statement. First you must imagine that you have been living with electricity your whole life, but if it goes out during the night you are pinned to one spot not daring to move. Once the light goes on you are filled with relief and a sense of peace. From this example we can conclude that light and any lamp that shades it, is a wonderful thing that brings comfort in darkness. So what does it take for a light bulb to start looking ugly? The fact that the light bulb is naked plays the main role. The presentation of truth as a light bulb is profound and substantial, because it clearly illustrates that if truth is exposed to someone nakedly, with no love, compassion or sympathy, it is agonizing for them, just like a light bulb with no lamp shade will burn the eyes of anyone who looks up at it. This proves that the way truth is unmasked before someone is what will either reconcile or destroy a person’s life, and maybe not the truth itself.

The environment in which we receive the truth can affect our welcome for it, much more than the truth we receive itself. In The Chosen two types of the synagogues are described. The first type is “…badly lighted, musty rooms, with benches or chairs crowded together and with windows that seemed always to be closed…”(112), and the second type, the one Reuven goes to, is described as follows: “… a large grocery store…, the sun shown in through the uncurtained portion of the glass, and I loved to sit there on a Shabbat morning, with the gold of the sun on the leaves of my prayer book, and pray”(112). Each of these two synagogues represents an environment in which truth can be taught to an individual. In the symbol of first synagogue and the light in it we can see that even though truth is taught, there isn’t enough light, which in this passage, is a symbol for love, present in order for the truth to have a positive effect in a person’s life. We can also see that the synagogue does not provide enough space, which can be seen as a metaphor for spiritual space, for an individual to assimilate truth and incorporate it into their lives. In comparison with the first synagogue, Reuven’s synagogue is a large, spacious room, which has plenty of light. Sitting and praying in this synagogue brings joy and satisfaction to Reuven. This is not only because of the physical characteristic described above, but because there is enough love demonstrated in the environment, as well as emotional and spiritual space to meet the needs of Reuven, to give him freedom to accept the tough and troublesome truth of the world that surrounds him. In all of this we can clearly see, that the setting in which the truth is presented to us, might have a greater impact than the truth in its essence.

The understanding of the concept that the way truth is laid out and the environment in which this is done, might have more lasting effects, for the person, than the truth, which is revealed. This concept is pivotal in how we share the truth with those around us, and will define whether or not we bring healing to those we love and care about. The concept is essential for us if we want to be witnesses of Christ’s love and compassion, not the society’s mockery and indifference. All of us have to make the decision to apply this to our lives and afterward live joyously, as well as bring joy and comfort to others. The sooner we make this decision, the brighter we can shine and more significantly impact those who desperately need our help. What is more important is that this concept, if we choose to live it out, will make us more like Christ. That is what our goal as Christians is, therefore, this concept, if acted upon, will help us succeed in the purpose God gave us. 

Sacred in Christ

Well, this week I started reading Les Miserables. It is a great book and has many important, vital things to think about and discuss in the classroom or with friends, since they are applicable to all of us. One of these things was a quote that I did not really talk over with anyone, but that stuck in my mind and I have not been able to silence it in my mind ever since, it is as follows: “Nothing being sacred to him, he had taken up smoking”. For some reason this stuck with me, so I thought more in depth about it. This quote is talking about a fellow named Tholomyes, who is an example of a person you could have seen walking down the street back then in France and a person you can see walking down the street today in Russia. A type of person that has been disappointed in life, mankind or society, therefore not able to see the value behind a person and a person’s life. None of the things that had disappointed him he found sacred and worthy of the struggle to keep them in good condition, so he gave up, he gave up on others and since he was disappointed in himself, he gave up on himself. He gave up on trying to be good, trying to save goodness and worthiness in himself and stopped believing that there is goodness and selflessness in others. He did not see any value in his life and health, which is why he started smoking.  After experiencing disappointments and let downs he lost track of his personal worth and the worth of others. When Tholomyes gave up on himself, he did not only hinder himself, but his girlfriend Fantine too. He not only ruined his only real shot at happiness and meaning in life, but deprived her of that as well. So think about it and think about it hard before giving up on yourself, because you will cripple not only yourself, but those around you too.

Today I started praying that people would not forget, and those that do not know, would learn that they are worthy. You and I are worthy of love, compassion, sacrifice, forgiveness and second chances. I also plead with everyone not to give up on themselves, no matter what and no matter who. I plead with you not to discard yourself, even when others do, because you are priceless. You and I were bought with the blood of the Son of Man and if he did not discard us, what right do we have to throw ourselves away?

Plague Chronicle

194-, Spring

Freedom! Independence! Oh, how I dreamt of these things through all those months we spent in the locked down and plague poisoned Oran.

            As the deaths kept decreasing in number and plague seemed to ebb away, hope returned to me and my parents. I have to say things have been getting better between us, whether the reason is the talk we had or the decline of deaths and the state of peril we are in, but either one makes me happy enough. So, since hope returned to my parents they decided to take action and get us out of the town, although I was certainly confused why. The plague was dying out and our lives were no longer in danger, but they planned our trip thoroughly and made sure I knew that we were to start as soon as the “iron curtain” came falling down. At first I felt something stir in me, like I didn’t want to go and leave my friends and my school, but then I realized that things would not be the same anyway. My friends would no longer be the naïve, ignorant and unconcerned about their lives as before, although on the surface I doubt they will change, something underneath will, just like it did in me. I also clearly understood that every street and every shop on my way to school and back would remind me of the horrors I did not want to relive again, so I did not argue with my parents on this one and tried to cooperate.

            As soon as the people were one again allowed to travel as we wished, my parents and I left for the docks. Our tickets for the big steamship were bought ahead of time, so we had no trouble boarding and arranging our luggage. As I sat on the ship and looked at Oran, I realized that my life will never be the same, because of the move and new place we would live in, but also because of what happened over the past year and what we lived through.

On board the ship when we were crossing the Alboran sea over to the peace and comfort of Spain, I sat and wondered what would happen if the ship sank. Ships sink all the time and everywhere, but what a waste it would be if I sunk here and now. My drowning would mean that all that suffering, pain and hardships I went through during plague would have no meaning. But on the other side, people are always dying and suffering, the only thing that changes is the set of the stage on which we all act. At one time or another, our performances, plays, comedies or tragedies will end. They will end the same way. The only thing we can hope for is to learn something from the ordeals we go through and refine ourselves in a way that might bring a peace into our lives and contentment with the life we lived. This is what I hope for sitting on the window seat of our two story house in Almeria, Spain miles from Oran, a town that conceivably taught me something, but that is yet to be resolved.  

Plague Chronicle

Winter 194-

Well the most recent event, the one that took most of the town by surprise is the decreased count of deaths in the weekly Monday announcement. This is a development I could not have foreseen. Some say it is the result of the advanced winter weather. However prior to the announcement I noticed something, something that has not been seen in a while, a rat. In all fairness, I did not see the actual creature, but how could I confuse its scratching sounds with anything else.

Another modification has made my life also more pleasing and lighter; this change however was not brought about by the weather, but by an act that required boldness and courage on my part, as well as belief in a change to the better. As I have said before life has become more pressured after the coming of the plague, under my parents’ watchful eyes. I noticed that although on the outside everything looked peaceful and calm, my insides were about to burst from all the tension and ridiculously unfair restrictions. My parents explained that I had to follow the rules they made, so that I might not get sick with plague and therefore live, but I already felt dead, dead from the inside. I felt dead because I could not make a choice on my own, could not think without my parents’ interfering in the process, could not feel joy, comfort or peace or even fear, for even that was forced out of my organism by the amount of pressure my parents put on me. I felt dead and numb. That was when I realized that I have kept the truth of this feeling inside myself and had not taken one step to change it, but rather to avoid or escape it. I was frustrated over my parents’ never ceasing, feverish control, but never once have I shared this feeling and let them know that it was something that was killing me. As soon as this realization struck I realized that the solution is an upfront confrontation of the problem. I made the decision to change something or at least try, to make the atmosphere in the house lighter.

Since my parents were in the living room, I got up and walked over to where they sat. I asked if they had a moment, instantly I dozen of questions were asked about my wellbeing and my obedience to the new set rules, I assured my parents I have obeyed every word and went on to say, “Mother, Father I need to reveal how all the new rules and the questions make me feel. They make feel like a prisoner, a criminal in a prison. Even my breathing feels restrained. I cannot enjoy a second of my presence in this house and near you, because the pressure is unbearable. I was mad about this for a while and because you didn’t seem to do anything about it, but I hope that now since you know how I feel about this, known the truth about what these rules and restrictions affect me, something will change and I will be able to enjoy the life I have, although it might not be the life that I want”. For a moment my bold and rather long, in comparison to the past couple of weeks, speech took them by surprise, but then I saw their eyes widen. I could see that what I have said finally made sense to them. After another short pause my parents started nodding and this gave way to a log conversation of sharing the truth of our feelings. I then explained what could be done in order to lighten the pressure I felt and my parents promised to discuss this between themselves.

This came as a surprise to me, for I didn’t even hope for a quick change, but I guess this just proved to me that the more knowledge we have about a situation the faster or better the results can turn out. Knowledge about a situation can give any participating side a way to make the situation healthier for another participator, if, of course, the knowledge is acted upon. This brought me to think that maybe this epidemic will give us more knowledge about the plague, so that next time we could heal it faster or avoid it all in all, and then maybe this will have a purpose. Although for now, the decreasing numbers of deaths do not provide enough hope for a quick end of the nightmare we are still living in.  

Plague Chronicle

End of May, June and July

Some say ignorance is bliss, but I would have to disagree. Although after the announcement of the plague Oran was closed down and now neither I nor anyone else can move an inch outside the city boarder, at least I have an understanding and an explanation for the eerie things that happened in the beginning of spring. I am no more paralyzed with fear after every step I make, and finally every time I do not have to look at my parents and think that this might be the last time I see them. I know that I will have time to say good bye before they leave me forever, or on the contrary, I will have the chance to bid them farewell.

In the past couple of weeks after the announcement that Plague has hit our quiet and boring town my parents morphed from the busy and neglective type, to the type of parents that watch your every step and make sure I do not even sneeze without their knowledge. I cannot leave the house without going through the “Spanish inquisition”, reassuring them, that I do know that my life and their life is in danger and promising not to do anything foolish and thoughtless. Actually I do not have anywhere specific to go, but my goal is to get out of the house that has this resistant atmosphere. I cannot take a deep breath or think anything freely anymore, for I feel the weight of my parent’s sudden and surprising anxiety about my near future or my near future death. I would prefer that they fret over themselves and their lives than more about mine, for every second of worrying and fright seems to kill a little bit of us from inside. Although I realized that sometimes there is no wall to stop ourselves from worry, that might in the end kill us faster than the actual plague, for there is no known to mankind cure against anguish and apprehension.

So some fear keeps controlling my life, although now my fear is not of the unknown disaster that has hit my life and my town but, a fear of isolation, losing contact with the outside world and being so behind, as to not be able to catch up ever again. I fear that with skipping school I might never catch up to become an engineer, as was my dream from the time I can first remember myself. During the night, as I lay in the quiet and in the “safety” of my bed, I can hear the screams of the people that are taken to quarantine and the doctors’ promises that this is the best chance another victim the plague has to survive. I dream and in my nightmares see myself screaming my head off, after realizing that I am the next to be put in the capture of quarantine.

School has been cancelled, so now I sit at home and when I cannot stand another second after going through questioning I give my parents the false reason of my leaving “the safest place for me” right now. The reason varies from seeing friends, who are now not allowed to leave their rooms to getting another book, that I would not be able to read because of the pressure I feel anytime around my parents to going out to look for a lost bracelet, that I did not own in the first place. But once I actually get out of the restrictions of my house, I have nothing better to do than roam the streets and watch the people walk by, look at their faces and imagine what life that lead, back when the minds of people were filled with the next best way to make money, and what modification the plague brought into their previously tasteless lives. The pastern I noticed interests me greatly, for after the official announcement of the plague the people on the streets where mostly in a hurry or on the contrary, made each step with giving it so much though and wasting so much energy on the thinking process, that a six-cylinder car could easily use all the energy to make it from here all the way to USSR with no trouble. These were the type that had nowhere to go and no one to worry about. I knew this for a fact, for some of them I followed just to get a taste of the old stale life I lead before. The faces of the Hurriers (the ones who had somewhere to be) usually showed trepidation and alarm, their lips drawn tightly together, as they imagined what horrible news could await them at home. I observed that the Fuelers (those that could provide the fuel for a car by just thinking about their next step) had blank faces and vacant eyes, as if the humanness, or maybe it was their sanity, was gone. However this all changed for a while when people heard that the serum would soon be here, people wore smiles more naturally than ever before, for the smiles came deep from beneath where hope still lived, hope for salvation from the plague and I know that even I wore that smile for a while, for I was aware of that warm healing of hope inside me. But soon the smiles were not worn, but pasted, as everyone lost hope after the numbers of death climbed higher and higher. The only sweet moments where those when our city was contacted by others, and they sent their encouragements and sympathy, but even this soon turned in to a bitter and hopeless thing, for the people on the outside where of the opinion that we are to remote for any real action to be taken and that isolation was the only way. This wiped the smile off my face and all the stupid fairytale endings for my life out of my heart. 

Plague Chronicle

End of April, 194-

Well, I don’t know how to start this, since I have never written anything of this sort before, but the things that are happening around here, things that have never happened in our town, things that chill your blood, because they do not have an explanation. You are petrified for you cannot know, whether you might be in the center of the weird happenings next. First I did not notice all the losses and abnormalities, but now it has been becoming more obvious to me that something vile and atrocious is happening. I am growing worried, for I have no idea what will happen next and whether it could harm me and my loved ones in any way.

I am a teenage girl from Oran, a province of France in Africa. Although the European countries have been fighting over this region and our city for quite a while, now it is peaceful under the rule of the French. I have to admit, until these haunting and perplexing deaths started happening, Oran was too peaceful for my taste. Nothing new ever happened here, life felt stale. It was always the same old people, routs, weather, occurrences, the same cycle of a person’s birth, life and death. Many kids in my class have already forgot how to have fun and now prefer following in the steps of their parents, following their routines, for they are scared to mess up their lives, but for me, I rather make my own mistakes, although I do believe in learning on the mistakes of others. One of the things I learned from my parents is not to work all the time and obsess about the income, since I see how this obsession of earning more money makes me feel neglected and forgotten, for my parents are gone most of the day and often do not get home until midnight.

The first memory I have of something happening out of the ordinary was in mid-April. Back then I was oblivious that something bigger and more dangerous was brewing under the surface. I remember that dead rats were found in ones and twos on the bus I take to school, at school, as well as on the staircase landing at our house and many other houses as well. Then things started getting worse, rats were no longer found in ones and twos, but in dozens and no longer in small buildings and private places, but now on the streets, in warehouses and factories. As days went by, the amount of dead rats everywhere continued increasing and the people started dealing with the little corpses. The rats were gathered in piles and taken to be dispose of. As I walked down the street I was rather nonchalant, for I didn’t believe that anything could shatter the indifferent routine of my everyday life. Oh how wrong was I! But then without warning the rats disappeared. Sure once or twice another dead rat was found on the street, but even those soon vanished. That is when our neighbor got sick. He was a young and healthy man that went by Baudin.  Once or twice we invited him for dinner, for as an only child, my parents tried to find someone I could pester rather than them and distract them from their ever sacred work. I also believe that another reason for my parent’s invitation was that Baudin was a starting municipal officer and was having money problems. My parents believed that if he died of starvation, we his neighbors, would not look good. So after I came home on April 26, I picked up some bread that my mother bought for Baudin and went next door to give it to him. When I walked up to his door there was a note saying that he is sick and waiting for the doctor and as he is resting, he does not wish to be disturbed, so I left the bread under his door and went to my room. In four days after reading the note on his door, Baudin died. My parents informed me of this and explain that he had a fever and abscesses on his body, as well as some black patches on his legs and arms. For the next couple of days nothing happened, but much less children and teachers showed up for classes. The rumor had it that they were sick with the fever and had to stay home in order to recover.

But today I realized I was wrong, things have been happening and although I do not know what exactly, something is obviously awakening from a long sleep. While walking from school through a small arch, far from the main street I came across a paper hanging on the wall. It said, “ There have been cases of sever fever in Oran  and it is not yet known to the authorities of Oran whether it is contagious or not, but in order to prevent any epidemic these precautions should be followed.” It then went to describe how more rats would be killed (why? Didn’t already enough of them die?) and then there was a list of all the precautions that were necessary to take to protect oneself from any chance of catching the fever. What terrified me was the part about anyone being sick with the fever would be isolated in special hospital wards, and although sometimes my parents are neglecting I love and care for them, as they do for me, so I would not like to leave them and in addition it would be miserable to be isolated from my classmates because of some fever. The last phrase on the paper made my heart stop. It said, “Anyone who has been in contact with any human sick with the fever should go and consult the sanitary inspector and unconditionally do whatever you are told, in order to make sure the fever is not spread”. I remembered that day I stopped by the Baudin’s door and that the symptoms he had, were the same ones listed in this paper. After I ripped the paper of the wall and ran all the way home, I came into my room. Now I am laying on top the bed rereading the paper trying to figure out more details of the eerie occurrences that have so far happened. I am terrified to breath a word to my parents, because I fear that the story might come spilling out and that might result in my isolation and separation from all those I know. The thing that terrifies me the most is that I don’t understand what is happening, I do not understand what this fever is and I do not understand what the presence of this fever might mean for my daily routine. Although I complained about the routine quite often, now I see that I am not ready to pay such a high price to experience anything I longed for. I sit and hope and pray that life will go back to the boring, monotonous flow of the same events, same streets and classrooms, for although I suffered of boredom and craved adventure, I was safe and sure of the reality, people and indestructability of life as I knew it.